


brief is the light

by brittyelaine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, Episode: s14e08 Byzantium, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 12:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16954140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: "You've always made me happy, Dean.  You always will."He doesn't see Cas's smile.  He doesn't see the sadness in Cas's eyes.





	brief is the light

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr](http://brittywritesstuff.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Title is a song by Sentenced

Though the bunker allows for no natural light, it always seems darker at night. The kitchen is no exception, Dean notes as he steps down from the hallway, heading for the fridge. He can’t sleep, and is on a hunt for a snack. Movement catches his eye, and he turns to find Cas sitting quietly at the table, picking at the label of an empty beer bottle. The trench coat and suit jacket are draped across the table, and Cas’s sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. “Cas?” he asks, his voice gruff. He scrubs a hand over his face and aborts his mission for food to cross the room and join the angel. He settles a hand on Cas’s shoulder as he sits, and offers a smile. He’s straddling the stool, turned to face Cas. “What’s up?” When Cas looks up at him, Dean takes a breath.

“Have you ever been truly happy, Dean?” Cas asks. His voice is quiet. Not quite somber. But it’s soft, and it makes Dean’s heart ache. The question does, too.

Dean thinks on the question a moment, his hand still settled on Cas’s shoulder. He thinks about his time with Cassie, and the lies he had to tell her to keep her safe. The pain and betrayal he saw in her eyes when he told her the truth. He thinks about Lisa and Ben, and all the little moments they had as a family. That _should_ be what he thinks was true happiness. That apple-pie life he and Sam had always craved.

But it’s not.

He licks his lips and swallows hard, letting his eyes roam Cas’s face for a moment, like he’s memorizing his favorite piece of art, though he long ago memorized it. Every freckle, the wrinkles that appear at the corners of his eyes when that rare smile appears, the line of his jaw, the fullness of his lips, and every shade of blue that makes up his eyes. Taking a chance, his hand shifts to the back of Cas’s neck, his fingertips stroking the angel’s dark hair. “I’m pretty damn happy right now.” His voice is quieter than he expects. It’s gentle, almost timid. So very unlike Dean.

Cas’s gaze softens, and he sets down the bottle in his hand. Dean watches as Cas’s eyes roam his face, memorizing it just as Dean had done. There’s a sadness behind his eyes that Dean can’t quite place, even as Cas’s hand closes around the hinge of his jaw. “Dean…”

“Just…” Dean huff and closes his eyes briefly. “Just let me get this out, okay?”

“Okay.”

He sighs and opens his eyes to meet Cas’s. “I know it’s a fuckin’ cliche. But I’m tired of losin’ people. I was a coward when I got you back. I should’ve… I should’ve said somethin’ then. And after Michael, I just…” He licks his lips again and leans in, his forehead bumping Cas’s. “You’re what makes me happy, Cas.” Tilting his head, he brushes his lips against Cas’s gently, a slow, tentative kiss. His fingers dip further into the angel’s hair, cradling the back of his head as Cas opens up to him, leaning into the kiss. 

When they part, Dean’s breathless, and he grasps Cas’s face between his hands. Their foreheads rest together, and Dean’s eyes are closed as he smiles. “You’re what makes me so goddamn happy.”

“You’ve always made me happy, Dean. You always will.” He doesn’t see Cas’s smile. He doesn’t see the sadness in Cas’s eyes. Because Dean _is_ what makes Cas truly happy. His love, his acceptance, his affection… it’s something Cas has craved for longer than he can remember. And now that he has it, he doesn’t know for how long. But he won’t bother Dean with that now. 

For now, they’ll savor the moment. They’ll go to bed and worship one another with nothing but reverence and adulation. They’ll find their happiness together. They’ll build upon it. They’ll love each other completely until the day comes. And even then, they’ll love each other. Always, and forever beyond.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, it's been a hot minute since I've written these two. Maybe(?) unpopular opinion, but overall, I'm not jazzed about this season. The writing feels off to me for some reason, and I've kind of fallen a little out of touch with the fandom. But this last episode made me feel some things, and I just couldn't get this little scene out of my head. So, hope you enjoyed! I'm a little rusty, but it's something!


End file.
